Urban farming is all the rage…

in my hometown of Portland, Oregon. There are small scale agricultural projects all over the place, in backyards, in restaurant side-yards and vacant lots. It’s exciting, and also a little frustrating. For the most part they look like this:

“That’s pretty,” you say.

Nice and green, lush and ordered. I suppose I even agree ~to a point. You see, there is something nagging me. Why does everyone think that a garden has to be in the shape of a square filled with uniform mono-crop rows of annual veggetables?

Here’s the thing: We are we still applying large scale agricultural techniques to our family gardens and backyard farms when we know the pitfalls. Here are some basic dangers of this kind of farming:

• increased pests
• increased water needs
• soil depletion
• lower yields
• need for fertilizer
• need for weed control
• it’s ugly in between crops or when left fallow for rotation

This is true even if it’s organic.

Yes, even organic gardens are inefficient due to waste of space. Rows require far more path space than is necessary unless you are farming with machinery or plowing with horses. Planting in rows encourages pests to multiply where they have a plentiful and continuous food source. Row planting increases the need for soil amendements (and/or crop rotation) to compensate for soil nutrient loss due to mono-crop stress on particular nutrients in a row or area. Annual vegetables planted in rows need a lot of weeding to maintain order. They also have increased water needs.

So urban farmers…. Here’s the solution:

Instead of planting in rows try the keyhole garden ~ a cricle with a single path leading from the edge to the center. It is a very space efficient way to design and plant your kitchen garden, vacant lot, or urban farm. If you have a larger space you can plant a series of interconnected keyholes, and it’s beautiful. The idea is that you use as little space as possible for paths and maximize the space for planting without losing your ability to reach your harvest. It looks more like this:

Also, rather than planting and harvesting single crops from particular areas, plant a diversity of perrenial and annuals, flowers and edibles all in one place. This allows the larger perennial plants to add mulch to the soil, fix nitrogen, offer habitat for birds (who then fertilize the area) and offer shade.

Smaller plants provide ground cover so weeds don’t have space to take over. Broad Leafy plants shade the soil thereby redusing water evaporation. Root vegetables draw up water and nutrients from deep in the earth and allow you to avoid plowing or diging at all by providing aeration which loosens the soil.

So, instead of planning an ordered harvest, consider this philosopher’s assertion:

If we we’re to design an architecture according to the human soul,
it would be in the shape of the labyrinth. ~Nietzsche

Using organic and symbolic forms in your garden will not only nurture your soul, it will increase your yield, save water, and increase the efficiency of your whole operation so you have more time for the Lazy-Lady’s Life.

Sometimes
When I feel like I’m going to fall apart
I hold my ribs, all the
way around.
Both sides.
My ribs hold me together.
Like glue.
They keep my breath close to my
Heartbeat.
They keep my soul from escaping in
The hollow where my ribs meet.
I hold them there in the memories
Of slow, sorrowful music and
Porch steps.
I hold my ribs, until I feel solid.
Until my legs are tree trunks and
My fingers are fruit.

~ Ember Ward – written when she was 17 in
Paint Me Like I Am: Teen Poems from Writers Corps
(Harper/Tempest, 2003)

Through Love all pain will turn to medicine.  – Rumi

I hear it all the time:

Birth is Safe.

As a midwife, this slogan kept me from stepping out on my own. I thought I had to wait until I could guarantee safety in birth.

As a mother, it stirred a sense of guilt.

You see, when I went into labor something happened. It was unexpected and it was bigger than me. It was NOT safe. It came from outside, a flurry of energies in my sacred birth space. It came from within, something deep, something old and unresolved. All I knew was that I could NOT have anything pass through my pelvis. I pushed with all my might, and I held back equally. I was alone in the underworld and I was terrified. For years, I couldn’t think about my daughter’s birth without shuddering. And oh, the guilt. What was wrong with me that I didn’t have an ecstatic, orgasmic, A+ honors equivalent, birth?

So, when I hear someone say it, “Birth is safe” or “Trust Birth –Your body knows how to give birth” something in me rebels.

“That’s not true,” it says.

“Birth is anything but safe.”

Birth may not be a medical emergency, but that does not mean it is safe. It is a serious and intense rite of passage that can shake us to our depths. Persephone’s trip to the underworld was not safe. Safe is a cop-out in life, and in birth.

But there’s more to it.

As modern women, through no fault of our own, we have been deeply imprinted by birth fear. Not just from movies, and birth fear and doctors, but from the way we ourselves were born, the way our mothers and their mothers were born. Nearly ALL of our mothers were subjected to inhumane treatment and we, in our most vulnerable moments as newborns, were manhandled and abused. It’s no wonder we are a generation of women seeking a shortcut around the intensity of birth.

If we accept the evidence that the way we are born imprints us for our entire lives then we must also accept that modern women are host to a lineage and legacy of pain and fear written on our wombs, our throats, our breath, breasts, and being.

For the first time in history of humanity most women have babies without releasing a flow of hormones of love… [T]he future of our civilization is at stake. – Michel Odent, The Farmer and the Obstetrician

Our age has been called the traumatic age. Our disconnect from ourselves, each other, and from the external world, has become epidemic.

Healing cultural trauma is an enormous task. In a very real way we cannot move forward alone. In fact, even though it may seem that some of us, natural birthers, are “ahead” in the race, the truth is we rise and fall together.

I will never again judge a woman who has an epidural. I will not tell her she should trust birth.

Instead, I offer love.

Women who choose interventions are, in a way, victims of the system they are seeking out… and perhaps the ones most marked by it. Until our culture offers all people the balm of true and lasting healing, I honor a woman’s choice to avoid triggering a trauma that is too deep to face without fragmentation. This is not weakness, it is true wisdom.

We must speak the truth about birth, and hold space for all women at the same time.

Birth is no longer safe for all women,

but love is.

Women who plan natural births, but don’t get them, aren’t failures.

They are the martyrs of our traumatic age.

Birth is our first rite of passage, our primal imprint and lifetime touchstone for being.

So, natural birth vs. medical birth. I advocate of neither. I am an advocate for love. L-o-v-e.

Trust Love, I say. Uncover it. Apply it. Know its secrets.

It might be the only thing that’s really safe.

If you want, or need, to supplement your breastmilk (a little or completely) this is an excellent, well researched, and far superior alternative to commercial formula. Oh, and no, Sally Fallon and I are NOT against breast-feeding! We’re against COMMERCIAL FORMULA feeding and mother guilt! All mothers can feed their babies well – even if it’s not from their own body.

I know this might seem overwhelming, especially if you are a new mama, but I just want to present this option. Also, you can order a starter kit from Radiant Living. Visit the Weston A. Price Foundation or Real Milk for raw milk sources.

MILK-BASED FORMULA

Makes 36 ounces
2 cups organic, certified clean raw milk
or organic pasteurized, nonhomogenized piima
milk (page 83), preferably from pasture-fed
Jersey or Guernsey cows
1/4 cup homemade liquid whey (page 87)
4 tablespoons lactose (see Sources)
1/4 teaspoon bifodobacterium infantis (see Sources)
2 tablespoons good quality cream
(not ultrapasteurized)
1/2 teaspoon high-vitamin or
1 teaspoon regular cod liver oil
(see note on cod liver oil, page 618)
1 teaspoon unrefined sunflower oil (see Sources)
1 teaspoon extra virgin olive oil
2 teaspoons coconut oil (see Sources)
2 teaspoons nutritional yeast
2 teaspoons gelatin (see Sources)
1 7/8 cups filtered water
1/4 teaspoon acerola powder (see Sources)
Add gelatin to water and heat gently until gelatin is
dissolved. Place all ingredients in a blender and blend
well. Transfer to a very clean glass or stainless steel
container and mix well. (Note: If milk is from Holstein
cows, add an additional 1-2 tablespoons cream.)
To serve, pour 6 to 8 ounces into a very clean glass
bottle, attach nipple and set in a pan of simmering water.
Heat until warm but not hot to the touch, shake bottle
well and feed baby. (Never, never heat formula in a
microwave oven!)

Variation: Goat Milk Formula
Although goat milk is rich in fat, it must be used
with caution in infant feeding as it lacks folic acid and is
low in vitamin B12, both of which are essential to the
growth and development of the infant. Inclusion of
nutritional yeast to provide folic acid is essential. To
compensate for low levels of vitamin B12, add
2 teaspoons organic raw chicken liver, frozen for 14
days, finely grated to the batch of formula. Be sure to
begin egg-yolk feeding at four months.

MEAT-BASED FORMULA

Makes 36 ounces
3 3/4 cups homemade beef or chicken broth,
(page 122 or 124)
2 ounces organic liver, cut into small pieces
5 tablespoons lactose (see Sources)
1 teaspoon bifodobacterium infantis (see Sources)
1/4 cup homemade liquid whey (page 87)
1 tablespoon coconut oil (see Sources)
1/2 teaspoon high-vitamin or
1 teaspoon regular cod liver oil
(see note on cod liver oil, page 618)
1 teaspoon unrefined sunflower oil (see Sources)
2 teaspoons extra virgin olive oil
1/4 teaspoon acerola powder (see Sources)
Simmer liver gently in broth until the meat is
cooked through. Liquefy using a handheld blender or in
a food processor. When the liver broth has cooled, stir in
remaining ingredients. Store in a very clean glass or
stainless steel container. To serve, stir formula well and
pour 6 to 8 ounces in a very clean glass bottle. Attach a
clean nipple and set in a pan of simmering water until
formula is warm but not hot to the touch, shake well and
feed to baby. (Never heat formula in a microwave
oven!) Note: It is very important to include the coconut
oil in this formula as it is the recipe’s only source of
antimicrobial saturated fatty acids.

* From Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon, pg. 603 & 604

Still not convinced it’s worth it? Take a look at this:

Infant Formula Ingredients:

Enzymatically hydrolyzed reduced minerals, whey protein concentrate, palm olein, soy, coconut, high-oleic safflower oils, lactose, maltodextrin, patoassium citrate, calcium phosphate, calcium chloride, salt, potassium chloride, magnesium chloride, ferrous sulfate, zinc sulfate, copper sulfate, manganese sulfate, potassium iodide, soy lecithin, mono and diglycerides, inositol, choline bitartrate, sodium ascorbate, alpha tocophyeryl acetate, naicinamide, calcum pantothenate, riboflavin, pyridoxine hydrochloride, thiamine mononitrate, folic acid, phylloquinone, biotin, vitamin D3, vitamin B12, taurine, L-carnitine

I have mourned lost days
When I accomplished nothing of importance.
But not lately.
Lately under the lunar tide
Of a woman’s ocean, I work
My own sea-change:
Turning grains of sand to human eyes.
I daydream after breakfast
While the spirit of egg and toast
Knits together a length of bone
As fine as a wheatstalk.
Later, as I postpone weeding the garden
I will make two hands
That may tend a hundred gardens.

I need ten full moons exactly
For keeping the animal promise.
I offer myself up: unsaintly, but
Transmuted anyway
By the most ordinary miracle.
I am nothing in this world beyond the things one woman does.
But here are eyes that once were pearls.
And here is a second chance where there was none.

~ Barbara Kingsolver

This week’s worry:

How do I plan a baby shower / mama blessing that’s not stupid? I want to have a mother blessing ceremony for myself but I don’t know how to do it. I’m just not sure what to do that will be meaningful…. ie. not stupid and fraud-ey feeling.

Trust me. I get it. I have had two personal baby shower / mama blessing flops of my very own so I really get it. I also had a deep intimate and moving welcome ceremony that brought everyone in the room to tears. It was magical and raw, unplanned and yet divinely ordered. Its a tricky thing – planning a ceremony for a mama-to-be whether it’s for yourself or someone you love. You want it to be super-duper special. Maybe you read all the books about belssingways and cool shower ideas. You start feeling like you have follow a bunch of rules or memorize a spiel and wonder if you’ll be able to pay attention to anything else but your “lines.” In the end, what you really want is something simple and unpretentious that really makes a difference.

It used to be that people just knew how to prepare and initiate each other.  Whether its an Amish quilting circle or an all night cosmic song-ceremony, villages had traditions for different occasions. There are a million different ways to honor and prepare a mother for birth and motherhood.

So what does that mean for us, the no-traditions or dumb-traditions generations? Well, it means that our main work is to recover the part of ourselves that knows how to create a ceremony, that knows what each moment needs in order to be filled with presence and magic.

Well, it’s a lot easier than you think. The good news is, you don’t need to copy other traditions. What you really need are a few guidelines around which to dream up just the right healing motions for the particular mama you want to honor and celebrate.

Here are the 4 things I have found useful in creating mother blessings:

Support: Make sure that mama is not carrying any of the planning or hosting burden. None. She is practicing surrender so make sure everything is taken care of for her. This is a primal re-imprinting of being cared for – something she needs to experience / remember in order to access and offer it to her new baby.

Preparation: Don’t show up cold. Make the ceremony a culmination of a series of personal steps toward a conscious intention. Have a few smaller meetings, rituals, conversations before the main event. This way a momentum is created that will irresistably move toward its own proper culmination.

Elements: First of all, don’t try to follow someone elses idea of a ceremony, blessingway, or shower. Dig deep into your own Ancestral self and find what the moment needs. Here are some basic elements to get you thinking.

Song... mamas love to be sung to and it can be deeply healing since most of us were not sung to as babies.

Physical Contact and Connection… the end of pregnancy is such a laden time…. foot baths and rose essential oils, rebozo sifting, combing hair (this is actually a really primal thing for women to do together and for each other) and other physical things are great.

Take-Away.… dream up some sort of ritual where each woman present takes something away that is connected to the central symbol of the event. Something that is an echo of the thing the mother will take away – her unique potion.

Be curious, and willing to be surprised at what comes to you. Trust your own kooky or strange ideas.

Have Fun:
This is probably the most important part of any sacred ceremony. Don’t take yourself or the event too seriously. Laughter is strong medicine and keeps energy flowing. Mistakes are the mother of novelty and joyful noise the key to authenticity.

Until Next week’s Worry,

Krista

This week’s WORRY:

How do I find the time to cook like an old-time mama? I mean, it takes weeks to ferment a crock of sauerkraut, and I have to get breakfast ready a whole frickin day in advance?! Are you kidding? How can any real live mama DOooo that? If I start I won’t have time for anything else!!!

I know, you’ve read a couple blogs, switched to raw milk, maybe even made something with organ meats (or not). You’ve read the introduction to Sally Fallon’s Nourishing Traditions* and even though it all makes perfect sense and resonates with every cell in your body…. you are finding it so hard to really get started.

Its kinda like me and meditation…. I know its good for me but, dude, I really just can’t do it! Don’t even want to want to… do it. Well, I didn’t want to…. until I learned Mark Silver’s Remembrance and my relationship to meditation changed forever. He taught me that I didn’t need to be in any special posture or frame of mind to meditate. In fact, quite the opposite.

Authenticity, even if it feels icky, is the first step in connecting to the divine….. And one doesn’t need to meditate for hours and hours. These two fact together changed my life as a mother. I got started right away meditating in the middle of the night while nursing my newborn son, or walking him to sleep, or standing in line at the bank. Now I meditate a lot, and I love it. Love it.

But what does this have to do with cooking the Sally Fallon way?

Well, I have a secret…. You see, recovering traditional culinary rhythms is more than another healthy-eating-regime, or save-the-planet-activity that you should do. No.

• A mother’s kitchen is her sanctuary
• Culturing Veggies her chopping meditation
• Her butter churn her altar
• Grinding Grain her daily movement….

The very motions of cooking traditional foods match our ancestral DNA….. we long for these motions. They calm our nervous systems and allow our Soft Animal instinctual selves to emerge. The motions of creating sacred and healing foods for your family not only keeps them healthier and happier, they are healing to make…..

healing to make.

They are the motions of creating home, family and community…… and these motions also create home for YOU mama….

Just making a start, however small or slow, builds and heals…. as you go, and before you know it, you will be immersed in a way of life that offers itself to future generations – returning your own grandchildren their birthright of radiant resilience and peace…. one crock of kraut at a time.

…. and nourish yourself at the same time. I promise.

So, here’s are the two things I want you to remember as you make your start:

1. Preparing Traditional Foods is healing
2. Your Kitchen is your sanctuary

And here is what I want you to do:

1. Pick one thing (JUST one) from the Nourishing Traditions bible and start doing it when you can.
2. Find one thing to put in your kitchen to remind you that it is your sanctuary

Then tell me about it in the comments….

Until next week’s worry,

Krista

* This is an affiliate link and all proceeds go to support the MamaMuse Scholarship, Training and Micro-Loan Fund

There you are in the car….

Grandma has passed away and you are on your way to her house to gather with family, wash her body, prepare her for vigil….. your 5 year old asks you: How did grandma die? You think back to last week’s post. You have a few immediate thoughts:

Ok, so I get it that its a good thing to be open with my children about death…. but what do I actually SAY??? I mean, would I say uncle Bob was murdered or George died in his sleep? Or that grandma’s heart stopped beating??? Won’t this worry my kids? How do I translate adult truths into something age appropriate? Do I tell them some schlock-ey thing about how they’re in heaven now? Or that death isn’t actually real?

You’re on the spot. and it’s important stuff.

You know your kid is going to remember this and what you say will either soothe or warp him. You wonder what the right thing to say is. You are already charged up just with being so close to death yourself…. You worry about saying the wrong thing.

Well, I’m here to tell you…. you can’t say the wrong thing….

if its true….

I mean, children are smart, especially when it comes to reading their parents. If you cover up the truth and just give them culturally sanctioned fluff, they’ll know it on some level. They want the truth!

So, what’s true about death?

well…… as you know, it’s hard to say. One thing I know for sure is that it is a mysterious journey.

I also know it is a powerful teacher.

In Mexico they celebrate the dead at the threshold of Fall and Winter. Here in N. America we have the remnants of a similar celebration at Halloween, but in Mexico they really go all out with altars and all night vigils, masks and processions.

Rudolf Steiner talks about the Rainbow Bridge….. about how when we come into the world we come in across the Rainbow Bridge and so I assume, according to him, we cross back over it when we return…. That story really works in our house. My four year old can really grock that, and there is something sweet in it for me too. Death is not a stranger. We have all crossed that bridge before. I find that comforting.

In the Bahai tradition bodies are supposed to be buried, returned to the earth to build her fertility…. I also find that idea comforting…. and my daughter loves thinking that her dead cat is becoming the hydrangea….. and that brings me to the other thing I know about death:

Its a celebration…. personal, intimate, and communal

Take a moment right now to get clear about three things:

• What do you KNOW about death? In its most raw form, what can you say for sure?
• Find one story or tradition about death that you find comforting or inspiring
• Think of one thing you can do to honor death as Winter approaches (Halloween) as well as when it actually comes…..

Now you know what to say…. just start saying it ~ even before you need it. Children feel safe when something feels familiar. Make your death story a part of daily life and when the real thing comes along they will already know the truth….. have added their own wisdom along the way and be comforted by your simple 3-part family tradition.

Share your ideas, insights, and musings in the comments!

Until next week’s worry,
Krista

This week’s WORRY: How can I lessen the morning chaos?

You’re trying to have everything set for the day before your partner leaves you and your new baby for the day, or maybe you are struggling to get your four year old to eat breakfast…. Perhaps you feel so rushed its hard to breathe, or maybe you are just grappling with a general sense of disorder in the morning…. Whatever your particular situation, you sure would love to have more peace in your morning routine.

There you are sleeping….

… laying still, silent and immersed in a deeply inward state of consciousness. As dawn approaches, you slowly, cell by cell, return to the lightening world and open you eyes…. It is a gradual and imperceptible shift….. and yet, we think we should hop out of bed and jump into light-filled action…. just like that.

Its kinda like when you take a cold pot of leftovers out of the fridge and put it on the stove. The food is cold. The pot the food is in is cold. Its just a big ball of cold cold cold-ness…. You turn the burner on and nothing happens for quite awhile. You get frustrated and turn it up to high….. and likely burn the bottom of the food and get frustrated…. kinda like morning times.

Ok, so here’s the thing:

Transitions take energy…..

When we are in the zone of an experience we flow in the stream of momentum. It is effortless and we feel a sense of ease, maybe even joy, or simplicity….. It is easy to forget the energy it took to get into that flow, especially when sometimes we are flowing between similar things… and then we hit up on these times of flow-less-ness and we wonder what’s wrong with us, or what the heck happened….. Why is it that only some transitions are hard? Well, there are lot’s of really personal reasons, but there are some universals too:

Bigger Transitions take more energy than small ones…..

…. and take extra time and care to traverse. I mean, when you are heating up fridge leftovers you’re not just taking them from room temp to warm…. that would be a lot easier…. Yes, it would still require energy, but a lot less. So what does this have to do with morning chaos? Well imagine if you woke up and took the leftovers out of the fridge and let them come to room temperature before trying to heat them up…. You might even want to put the cold food into a clean pan from the shelf instead of the friger-rater chilly one. That way you will need LESS ENERGY to make the transition. It won’t be such a big leap…. and it would feel less chaotic and more doable.

Here are the two most difficult transitions human beings ALL face daily:

1. Dawn
2. Dusk

During these times the whole world is transitioning from stillness to action and from action to stillness. Our bodies have big shifts to make (all kinds of chemical changes occur), and we wonder why things get a little hard and crazy at these times….. As a culture we drink coffee to assist our emergence and alcohol to assist in our winding down. And they can get us by….. but there is a cost.

You can make these transitions, and what follows after them, much easier by doing a few simple things:

1. be rested: go to bed early enough that you can easily wake up 2 hours before we have to leave home
2. be present and connected: take a moment to sing or recite a verse to name and honor the transition
3. break it down: identify smaller shifts within the big shift – daily morning traditions

At my house, little ones need to go to bed at 7pm in order to awaken refreshed and renewed at 7am. We big people need to be asleep by 10pm to get up happily at 7am with our children – pre school starts at 9am. We sing a little morning verse when our children awaken in our big family bed… greeting their fuzzy dreamy eyes with a song of welcome and reflection…. and a reminder that we are at an important transition into daytime…. Here is our verse. Use it or find your own:

We smile, and laugh, and tickle and talk about breakfast….. You might be tempted to skip over the verse-thing. Perhaps thinking it is dispensible….. less practical etc. But really, the verse is the most important part of this 3-part prescription. It’s the worry stone part. The part that works a little magic. Its the part that we try to do even if we don’t do anything else!

AND when we don’t do it for awhile (which is the part of doing it that no one mentions) the return is always so comforting and beautiful…. gives wandering from the path a raison d’etre….

That’s the rhythm of life…. in and out of practice….

and the returns are delicious.

Here is our list of things we do every morning. We group them into sets of three and use a little bell to initiate the doing of each:

1. morning potty
2. comb hair
3. get dressed

1. eat breakfast
2. make snack
3. get shoes on

Human beings love repetition especially when facing Big Transitions like morning time…. Having a simple verse that sets a rhythm into motion, along with enough time to be spacious, can change a battle zone into a harmonious time of family connection. It can bring our slumbering selves up to room temperature – a much more comfortable place to start the warm up of your day.

Share your verses, and traditions in the comments!

Until next week’s worry,

Krista

The Loom of Dreams

I broider the world upon a loom,
I broider with dreams my tapestry,
Here in a little lonely room
I am master of earth and sea
And the planets come to me.

I broider my life into the frame
I broider my love, thread upon thread
The world goes by with its glory and shame,
Crowns are bartered and blood is shed:
I sit and broider my dreams instead

And the only world is the world of my dreams,
And my weaving the only happiness;
For what is the world but what it seems?
And who knows but God, beyond our guess,
Sits weaving worlds out of loneliness.

by  Arthur Symons.