This week’s WORRY: How can I lessen the morning chaos?
You’re trying to have everything set for the day before your partner leaves you and your new baby for the day, or maybe you are struggling to get your four year old to eat breakfast…. Perhaps you feel so rushed its hard to breathe, or maybe you are just grappling with a general sense of disorder in the morning…. Whatever your particular situation, you sure would love to have more peace in your morning routine.
There you are sleeping….
… laying still, silent and immersed in a deeply inward state of consciousness. As dawn approaches, you slowly, cell by cell, return to the lightening world and open you eyes…. It is a gradual and imperceptible shift….. and yet, we think we should hop out of bed and jump into light-filled action…. just like that.
Its kinda like when you take a cold pot of leftovers out of the fridge and put it on the stove. The food is cold. The pot the food is in is cold. Its just a big ball of cold cold cold-ness…. You turn the burner on and nothing happens for quite awhile. You get frustrated and turn it up to high….. and likely burn the bottom of the food and get frustrated…. kinda like morning times.
Ok, so here’s the thing:
Transitions take energy…..
When we are in the zone of an experience we flow in the stream of momentum. It is effortless and we feel a sense of ease, maybe even joy, or simplicity….. It is easy to forget the energy it took to get into that flow, especially when sometimes we are flowing between similar things… and then we hit up on these times of flow-less-ness and we wonder what’s wrong with us, or what the heck happened….. Why is it that only some transitions are hard? Well, there are lot’s of really personal reasons, but there are some universals too:
Bigger Transitions take more energy than small ones…..
…. and take extra time and care to traverse. I mean, when you are heating up fridge leftovers you’re not just taking them from room temp to warm…. that would be a lot easier…. Yes, it would still require energy, but a lot less. So what does this have to do with morning chaos? Well imagine if you woke up and took the leftovers out of the fridge and let them come to room temperature before trying to heat them up…. You might even want to put the cold food into a clean pan from the shelf instead of the friger-rater chilly one. That way you will need LESS ENERGY to make the transition. It won’t be such a big leap…. and it would feel less chaotic and more doable.
Here are the two most difficult transitions human beings ALL face daily:
- Dawn
- Dusk
During these times the whole world is transitioning from stillness to action and from action to stillness. Our bodies have big shifts to make (all kinds of chemical changes occur), and we wonder why things get a little hard and crazy at these times….. As a culture we drink coffee to assist our emergence and alcohol to assist in our winding down. And they can get us by….. but there is a cost.
You can make these transitions, and what follows after them, much easier by doing a few simple things:
- be rested: go to bed early enough that you can easily wake up 2 hours before we have to leave home
- be present and connected: take a moment to sing or recite a verse to name and honor the transition
- break it down: identify smaller shifts within the big shift – daily morning traditions
At my house, little ones need to go to bed at 7pm in order to awaken refreshed and renewed at 7am. We big people need to be asleep by 10pm to get up happily at 7am with our children – pre school starts at 9am. We sing a little morning verse when our children awaken in our big family bed… greeting their fuzzy dreamy eyes with a song of welcome and reflection…. and a reminder that we are at an important transition into daytime…. Here is our verse. Use it or find your own:
morning has come night is away we rise with the sun to welcome the dayWe smile, and laugh, and tickle and talk about breakfast….. You might be tempted to skip over the verse-thing. Perhaps thinking it is dispensible….. less practical etc. But really, the verse is the most important part of this 3-part prescription. It’s the worry stone part. The part that works a little magic. Its the part that we try to do even if we don’t do anything else!
AND when we don’t do it for awhile (which is the part of doing it that no one mentions) the return is always so comforting and beautiful…. gives wandering from the path a raison d’etre….
That’s the rhythm of life…. in and out of practice….
and the returns are delicious.
Here is our list of things we do every morning. We group them into sets of three and use a little bell to initiate the doing of each:
- morning potty
- comb hair
- get dressed
- eat breakfast
- make snack
- get shoes on
Human beings love repetition especially when facing Big Transitions like morning time…. Having a simple verse that sets a rhythm into motion, along with enough time to be spacious, can change a battle zone into a harmonious time of family connection. It can bring our slumbering selves up to room temperature – a much more comfortable place to start the warm up of your day.
Share your verses, and traditions in the comments!
Until next week’s worry,
Krista
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
What a beautiful reminder of the power of simple (emphasis on simple!) rituals! Just adding that four-line rhyme helps give a feeling of *magic* to the day for your little one and for you. And feeling magic in a day is the whole point…of life, basically. Thanks for this inspiration.
I used to teach pre-school and kindergarten and used song and ritual throughout the day. But as a mother of two break-of-dawn risers, I’ve misplaced this knowledge. We have our evening rituals, but I’ve long neglected morning ones. Thank you for the reminder.
In the spirit of collaboration, I share our evening verse, my variation of Hush Little Baby, Don’t Say a Word:
Hush, little loved one, don’t you cry;
“Sleep tight, sweet dreams” is not “good-bye”
Listen to this lullabye song
And you’ll drift to sleep before too long.
Now I lay you down to sleep
As stars into the sky do creep.
May angels guard you through the night
And wake you with the morning light.”
@Sam: Got me thinking that these verses are good for everyone, not just children!
@Sylvie: Hush Little Loved One. How sweet…. love it! Makes me think of how sweet it is to be rocked and “hushed” not silenced, but held into what grief becomes – peace…. and deep rest in our cozy bed. At bedtime we always “suggest” our little ones “fall into a deep and magical sleep”…. I’m gonna have to practice the Hush Little Baby tune and look forward to using it. THANKS!
wow, I sure do love this. I am going to make use of it. i’m going to do things in sets of three and ring a bell. I love these helpful ways to think about and do morning. mindful morning ritual. thank you!